


A Reason To Smile

by babiebunkoo



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Established Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Mentioned Kozume Kenma, Mutual Pining, Oblivious, Pining, Self-Indulgent, Slice of Life, but im weak for bokuaka, for like one second, i tried to make it angsty, its just fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:55:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27160753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babiebunkoo/pseuds/babiebunkoo
Summary: Bokuto always brought happiness to Akaashi's bland life. So much more than that, actually. His mere presence made him feel safe.Until it did not. Until everything changed.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Kudos: 31





	A Reason To Smile

**Author's Note:**

> first time writing anything haikyuu related! hope you enjoy~

"Akaashi! Were you even listening?" Bokuto said loudly, throwing a pillow at the younger.

"O-Oh, uh, yea?" Akaashi shrugged. It was hard to pay attention to what Bokuto was saying, since he was way busier admiring the way Bokuto talked animatedly, hand gestures galore, his big owlish eyes gleaming.

So yea. Akaashi had no idea what Bokuto was saying. "So anyway, I was saying! Kuroo is so good at blocking! Not only that, he also..."

Akaashi tuned his ears out of the conversation once he heard the word Kuroo, instead staring at a wall, trying to make his subtle change in mood less obvious- last thing he wanted was for Bokuto to go into his _emo mode._

In recent weeks, Bokuto has been mentioning Kuroo in their conversations, more and more so. Akaashi was convinced that Bokuto had a crush on Kuroo- although the other had never explicitly mentioned it. Bokuto was easy to read, in that sense. After all, they _had_ been friends for a long time...

Which was also what irked Akaashi. You see, Bokuto had always had a special place in his heart, whether he knew it or not. Truth to be told, Akaashi's confidence had dropped ever since Bokuto started rambling about Kuroo.

_Were my hints really that bad? Were they too subtle? He thought. Or did Bokuto-san simply not catch onto it? Worse off, did he not want to mention it at all?_

"Hey, 'Kaashi, you okay? You look a little paler than usual..." Bokuto asked, worriedness seeping into his usually cheerful -and loud- voice.

"I'm fine, Bokuto-san, maybe I'll just go to bed earlier..." Akaashi replied, unable to help the way his voice was softer and meeker as compared to normal. Bokuto nodded vigorously, helping himself to the door, but not before he said, "Remember to rest lots, 'Kaashi!

Sleep did not come easy for Akaashi. Negative thoughts swarmed his mind, despite his best efforts to ignore them.

_Stupid Akaashi. You should have been more obvious when you had the chance. Thanks to you being a coward, Bokuto-san has now fallen in love with Kuroo, of all people, and not you. Great job in giving 'hints'.._

"Arrgh!" Akaashi pulled on his hair in frustration, leaning over to grab his phone.

_Beep Beep Beep_

"Hi, um Oikawa?" "What is it? Iwa-chan was just about to rail me into next week and you called?!" Oikawa groaned. Absolutely shitty timing.

"Oh, sorry," Akaashi winced. He did _not_ need to know that, "Can we meet tomorrow? At the usual place?"

All Oikawa said before hanging up was, "M'kay." Akaashi was positive he heard a short, sharp slap of a hand against flesh and a moan. He shuddered. God knows what they're up to.

-

Akaashi met Oikawa and Iwaizumi at their house. The youngest of the trio hated having the couple as he always felt he was third wheeling, but he really wanted their advice... As stupid as that sounds.

"Here." Iwaizumi placed three cups of tea on the table.

"So, Akaashi, what did you want to share with us?" Oikawa asked, looking at Akaashi as if the answer would appear on his face.

"You know how Bokuto-san has a crush on Kuroo? That rooster looking ass?" Akaashi started. Oikawa and Iwaizumi both stifled a laugh at him. Comparing Kuroo to a rooster, now that is new.

"Well, I'm pretty sure he is crushing on Kuroo and Bokuto is going to ask Kuroo out soon... I-I sta-stand no cha-chance..."

Akaashi could not help it. He broke down into sobs.

"Hey, _hey_ , Akaashi. Look at me. Breaaaathe." Oikawa cupped his face, wiping the tears off.

"I- _hic_ am so _hic_ fucking stupid! Urghhh!" Akaashi hated that he was showing such vulnerability. He was sure the two would understand, but still. Nothing ever went well for him.

Iwaizumi handed him a wad of tissues, which he gladly took.

-

It was about twenty minutes later did Akaashi finally stop crying. He was still feeling down, though. And useless. He felt useless.

"Better?" Iwaizumi asked, the first word he spoke since the breakdown.

"Of course he is feeling better. I'm here!" Oikawa said with a flick of his hair- a mere joke, albeit stupid, yet Akaashi smiled.

"You know, you still have a chance. Bokuto hasn't confessed yet, and Kuroo hasn't agreed. Who knows? You just gotta hope for the best, yea?" Iwaizumi comforted him, sounding a lot like one of the voices in his head- the one that always comforts him, the one that was forever clad in positivity.

Yet Akaashi found himself listening to the _other_ voice in his head, also known as the negative side.

It just felt more realistic, and Akaashi was not one to enjoy false hope.

"C'mon now, Akaashi, you won't know until it happens! Wanna play some Mario Kart?" Oikawa grinned, ever the loud one.

As for Akaashi, he was glad for the temporary distraction.

It was like any other day, except it _wasn't_. The atmosphere was different, an almost tangible taste in the air. Akaashi let the sound of leaves crunching underfoot take over his senses for a while, before finally speaking up.

"Bokuto-san?"

"Hmm?"

"You're asking Kuroo today, right? After practice?"

"Yep! I'm surprised you still remember, 'Kaashi." Bokuto grinned. A flutter shot through the younger's chest.

Despite everything, it felt good to know Bokuto was still positive. The pair fell into silence again, Bokuto occasionally pointing interesting things out as they walked towards school.

"Good luck later, Bokuto-san," Akaashi said just before they parted for class, flashing a rare smile.

The words were pointless, as Akaashi would be there during volleyball practice anyway, but _still_. It was the thought that counted.

-

Initially, Akaashi thought that he would not be able to concentrate- after all, a particular matter had been bothering him.

He was _glad_ , to say the least, that classes occupied his mind for the day, and soon enough, it was volleyball practice.

Bokuto, however, was a completely different story. He was uncharacteristically quiet, lost in his own thoughts most of the day.

He groaned when the last lesson of the day ended. _It was finally volleyball practice!_

For the most part, practice went as usual. Akaashi tossed to Bokuto, Bokuto spiked, Kuroo blocked. Simple.

As the end of practice slowly crept up on them, the setter noticed the subtle change in the ace. _Must be the nerves,_ he thought. _Who wouldn't be nervous, asking your crush out on a date?_

"Akaashi!" It was the coach, beckoning him over to the side.

-

"Good job today, everyone. Keys are at the usual place, so if you want extra practice, you can. Remember to lock up." With that, the Fukurodani coach left the players to their own businesses.

"Bokuto! Extra practice?" Konoha called out, already preparing, but Bokuto had already left to the lockers, Kuroo following behind.

Akaashi really wanted Bokuto to be happy, he really did. But deep down, he still hoped that Kuroo would reject the offer.

He felt _evil_ , but that could not be helped.

-

"Hey Kuroo," Bokuto cleared his throat, catching the attention of the other.

_They were alone, and if this wasn't a perfect oppotunity, then..._

"Wouldyouwanttogooutwithme?IreallylikeyouKuroo!" This was, yet again, very _un-Bokuto-like._

A small blush worked its way up Kuroo's face, his mind going into overdrive.

Kuroo felt bad. _Very bad_.

"Uh, Bokuto. I-"

Bokuto looked up with hopeful eyes.

"I already have my eyes on someone else, _-_ _Kenma actually-_ so I've gotta decline this. Hope we could still be friends..." Kuroo winced. Even the rooster haired cringed internally, knowing how bad that must have sounded. He just straight up rejected a confession.

Bokuto swore he could hear his heart shattering. He was too overwhelmed.

Overwhelmed with emotions, with feelings, with _hurt_.

It was suddenly too much. Everything came crashing down. Yes, it seemed like too big a reaction for something so small. But to Bokuto, his life was ruined.

 _But it was okay_ , he thought. It was _not_ Kuroo's fault for not liking him. It was not Kuroo's fault, he kept chanting to himself as he crumpled against the lockers, willing the tears not to spill out of the corners of his eyes.

"Hey, bro, don't be upset, yea?" Kuroo knelt down, comforting the other. He had always thought of Bokuto as a mere _friend_ , nothing more, and to think that this could happen, of all things.

"I'm so sorry, I'm very sure you will find someone better than me, I'm certain."

Meanwhile, Bokuto was still silently sobbing, chest heaving although no tears came. _It was ok, it was ok, we are still friends. Everything is ok, Kuroo likes someone else, and as a friend I should be happy._

"Oi! I'm leaving, so yall clean up, kay?" Konoha called out from outside, momentarily breaking Bokuto away from his mostly negative train of thought.

_Pull yourself together, Bokuto. Stop crying. Move on._

The ace pulled himself together and stood up, smiling weakly at Kuroo, a little embarrassed that he showed this side of himself to Kuroo.

After locking up the gym, they parted ways and went home.

-

_Knock Knock._

Akaashi looked up from his book, making his way to the door of his apartment.

_It must be Bokuto-san. I wonder how things went for him..._

A puffy-eyed Bokuto stood at his doorstep, well there was answer.

"Bo-" Akaashi started, but was soon cut off by the other, who had tears streaming down his face. _Oh boy. This isn't gonna end well._

"AGGGAAASHIII! Ku-Kuroo did not say yez..."

Akaashi frowned. _Smiles surely looked better on his face_ , he thought. Soon enough, they were seated on the couch in Akaashi's apartment, Bokuto rambling about the whole event.

"A-and then Kuroo said..." It was evident that Fukurodani's ace had come to peace with the fact that he got rejected, and that Kuroo was free to like whoever he wanted.

It was not his fault, no matter how much Bokuto wanted to push the blame on him ( it would just make things a million times easier, after all. ) But humans were complex, and Bokuto was only human.

He had to feel a little dejected despite not outwardly showing it, Akaashi knew the older long enough to tell when he was hiding something, and this was one of those times.

Being one of Bokuto's close friends, it was Akaashi's job to comfort him. It only made sense. He formulated what he was going to say in his head ( Akaashi hated sounding like an idiot, therefore he plans what he would say first, especially if it was a long, insightful speech of sorts. )

Akaashi was so caught up in trying to make Bokuto feel better that all his thoughts about his _chance_ and this little _crush_ of his were gone. The world is a wonderfully weird place, it seemed. Things just _disappeared_ when you are so caught up in a moment.

"Bokuto-san, I know you're probably still very upset and heartbroken. I'm glad that you came to terms with the outcome, and-"

Bokuto snored.

Akaashi let out a little laugh, a pleasant sound that only made its appearance once in a ( very long ) while.

"You big baby..." Akaashi sighed, stretched and then proceeded to carry Bokuto to his bedroom, where he could get a better rest. The day's events must have taken a toll on him.

-

One thing about Akaashi was that he was an overthinker. Very much so. Night time was always the worst. Usually, the cool, calming nights did nothing but make him feel sleepy, and allowed him to drift off easily.

But there were also abnormal days, which have been occuring more and more in recent days, much to his despise. Instead of lulling him to sleep, the serenity caused the setter's brain to be more awake, if possible.

The raven haired stared into space for a while, lost in his thoughts. He stared at Bokuto, sleeping peacefully beside him, the gentle rise and fall of his chest with every breath he took.

_Bokuto Koutarou, how do I tell you that I love you?_

After tossing and turning for what seemed like hours, Bokuto's soft snores still resonating through the room in some sort of uneven rhythm, Akaashi finally fell into a deep slumber.

-

The next morning, Akaashi was awoken by the smell of tea wafting through the apartment.

"Bokuto-san? What time is it?" Akaashi walked into the living room, still groggy from sleep.

"Ah! 'Kaashi! I've made some breakfast already, have some before we go to campus?" And who was Akaashi to reject the irresistible offer?

"Mhmmm, Bokuto-san, who knew you could do so well huh." Indeed, Bokuto did not look like one who would excel in these kinds of things- life is full of surprises.

They talked a little, washed up and got dressed ( Bokuto kept a spare change of uniform at Akaashi's apartment for the occasions where he was too tired after volleyball practice ).

As they walked toward school in comfortable silence, the raven-haired felt oddly guilty at a particular thought that was gnawing at his mind. _Would Bokuto like me now? Even if he does, is it really love? Or just platonically? What if I am just Bokuto-san's second choice..._

"Heyheyhey! Aggaashi! Wanna go grab a snack or something?" The younger broke out of his trance, nodding.

"W-wait, Bokuto-san, do you wanna practice volleyball later? Y'know, get your mind off things?"

"Okay 'Kaashi!" Bokuto smiled cheerily as they parted ways, but behind that facade, there was a sad soul.

-

Ever since getting rejected, Bokuto was determined to bounce back, happier than ever. Kuroo and him were still friends despite the initial awkwardness, which melted soon enough. But there was still underlying feelings that they had to address and sort out sooner or later.

Yes, it was not easy. It took a few days of back to back ranting to Akaashi did he really understand that he had to start anew.

Bokuto was always one to wear his heart on his sleeve and openly express his feelings. With that being said, he still had a good portion of his feelings hidden, tucked away secretly. And no one except Akaashi really knew...

Bokuto groaned in frustration. Emotions were just so _complicated._ Impossible to figure out, though he was already halfway there.

-

The Fukurodani team gathered for an unofficial practice which was nowhere near practice standard nor length, but they had a lot of fun, and Akaashi was glad the session fulfilled his purpose, as Bokuto was grinning from ear to ear, obviously feeling great about himself.

They maintained their usual routine- Bokuto and Akaashi walking back to the latter's apartment.

-

As Bokuto was busy in the shower, Akaashi daydreamed. There were a few stray thoughts about Bokuto in the midst, and the setter blushed a deep red, thoroughly embarrassed. He was beyond grateful that no one was there to witness his pathetic state.

Before more inappropriate thoughts could appear, Bokuto appeared out of the shower, spiky hair matted to his head instead. He still looks good, Akaashi thought, and had to remind himself to not stare.

"Ak-" Bokuto started, but was rudely interrupted by the doorbell ringing.

"I'll get it," Akaashi said, and stood up from his position on the couch.

"Hey! Akaashi, I just wanted to speak to Bokuto, is he here?" Kuroo asked, standing sheepishly at the door.

Akaashi _knew_ he should not be reacting the way he was- jealous. Bokuto and Kuroo were good friends, even after the awkward confession they remained friends... so there was no reason for Akaashi to say that... but he did.

"If this is about the confession or some shit, Bo-chan isn't interested, so get lost." A hint of menace crept into the setter's voice. He did not even realise the sudden _possessiveness_ he showed, nor did he realise the accidental new nickname that slipped from his lips- _Bo-chan_.

-

Bokuto, however, did realise. A blush slowly worked its way to the tips of his ears, settling on his cheeks. It was not the first nickname Akaashi called him, but... this was _new_. _It sounded nice, more informal than Bokuto-san,_ he thought.

Bokuto was confused at his sudden flusteredness, emotions that were never there triggered.

_What is happening, I just like Akaashi as a friend. A very good friend. Yes, I love him. But platonically, right?_

Bokuto was not very sure, but one thing was for certain- he may or may not have contracted feelings for a particular pretty setter.

-

Life pretty much reverted to good old normal times. The day after Akaashi's weird lashing out at Kuroo, they made up. Akaashi apologised for sounding rude, blaming it on how his tiredness from volleyball practice and homework could make him grumpy sometimes. Kuroo did not press any further into it, nor did he find Bokuto to talk- after thinking about it for a while, Kuroo decided to simply let it slide.

Weeks passed by in a blur. Wake up, school, volleyball practice, homework, sleep, and repeat. Akaashi liked the feeling of having a system, being organised. It helped him take his mind off things. (read: Bokuto)

Sure, their friendship was still strong, but recently, more often than not, Akaashi caught the older... _staring_? At him? He could have sworn there was a slight blush on Bokuto's face, but decided that it was all hallucinations. _God am I getting desperate,_ thought the raven-haired. Akaashi was not exactly one to leave things unsolved, but even he himself knew some things are just better left alone, hidden from questioning.

-

Bokuto decided, after weeks or so, consciously trying to figure out if he, _in fact_ , liked Akaashi.

Things that he never noticed before, he now noticed. Things like Akaashi twiddling his fingers in the cutest way when he was nervous or simply had nothing to do.

He was also staring at Akaashi a lot more, noticing how his delicate features adorned his face.

One day, it all came to Bokuto, and he had his eureka moment, as cliché as that sounded.

_I... like 'Kaashi?_

A few seconds passed as the realisation set in.

 _Oh fuck.. I like Akaashi_ \- B

okuto let his mouth hang agape a little in shock. It must be true, there was no other explanation for it. Staring at Akaashi, noticing all those little details... oh, how _stupid_ he was to not notice this earlier.

He got flashbacks to around a month ago, when he was very certain he liked Kuroo. _Now that he thought about it,_ he thought, _Did I really, truly like Kuroo? Or were my emotions messed up, confused?_

-

More time passed, around a week or so, Bokuto could say, with absolute certainty, that yes, he liked Akaashi Keiji.

One thing to know about Bokuto? He was braver than the average person. It was this thought that spurred him on to confess to Akaashi.

At most, he would get rejected, and they would still be friends. Again, there would be that initial awkwardness- same as that fateful time with Kuroo- but it was nothing they could not overcome, right?

_I've known Akaashi for so many years. It would be okay..._

Bokuto forced the negative thoughts away, ignoring them. He's gotten pretty good at it now.

-

They were studying at Akaashi's apartment (again) and Bokuto... well he hoped he was acting well enough to pass off as studying. The rapid pace of his heart pounded in his ears. Today... he would ask Akaashi out. And hope he does not get rejected.

"Akaashi-" he sucked in a breath.

"After, y'know, _Kuroo_ , I realised uh... Akaashi Keiji, I like you... more than platonically. Yea." Bokuto winced. _Arghh, why do I have to sound so awkward!_

Akaashi just stared, mouth agape. "Y-you do? Like, you sure? Bokuto-san.." Bokuto only nodded, not trusting himself to say anything else.

"Well... I like you too. More than platonically. And.. cliche as it sounds... Bokuto-san, thank you for being my reason to smile." 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks so much for reading! kudos and comments make my day (hint hint hehehehehe). thank you as well too my friends who helped me beta this and gave their suggestions/opinions. 
> 
> [ carrd ](https://junni.carrd.co/)


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